You come up with every reason to stay at your job: a sense of security, friends, a place to go each day so that you feel a sense of purpose in life. And then there’s the big paycheck to pay your bills, buy your clothes, take you to the movies, and fulfill obligations. There’s no room to feel your longings, question what really gives you pleasure and how, in some way, you could change things. It all gets in the way of the paycheck -- of the security -- of being in control. You brainwash yourself to believe all is OK.

It’s not all-OK. It’s actually all very UN-OK. You probably don’t want to get up to go to work where you feel unfulfilled. You ’re tired. You don’t feel happy. You don’t have a sense of purpose. Life is boring. But you have to pay those bills, you tell yourself over and over again. You have to fit in. You have to please mommy and daddy. You have to look good. You have to! You have to! You have to! These have-to’s consume and destroy your spirit, the essence of your true nature that appreciates what life is, laughs, and feels excited about what you’re doing and the challenges it brings you. Where does this leave you? What did you do with your dreams? Did they get left behind 10, 20, 30 or 40 years ago?

DON’T WORRY! You have the ability to make changes, no matter what you’re doing, one microscopic step at a time. The first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you love what you’re doing? If you "like" your job and don’t feel excited about it, then you’re settling for less than what is possible for you to experience in life. You may not even know that you can be passionate about your work. Once you understand this, it’s up to you to begin the journey of exploring how you can make a change. Finding the support you need to walk through this journey and create a vision is essential. Knowing you are not alone, that someone is there to talk with, answer questions, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable is the greatest gift you can give yourself. You will open up to new possibilities, a new way of creating and cultivating personal effectiveness.

Talking to another person is also important because many times we don’t see past our emotions and beliefs. You need to express your negative emotions such as, "I don’t want to change," "I’m too old to change," "It only happens to other people," or "I can’t do it." These are self-imposed images and beliefs about life that you either consciously or unconsciously chose to help you deal with your circumstances. It worked for a time and it doesn’t serve you anymore.

It is also imperative that you stay focused on your goals and remember that life does not have to be all or nothing. You will eventually find the balance you need to be responsible and fulfilled. It also takes patience. This can be quite a challenge because we usually want our lives to change quickly. Sometimes it does, but you are probably better off to make transitions slowly. If you are not aligned with the changes that take place on an emotional, mental, physical and spiritual level, it can backfire and you will sabotage your positive intention to create abundance. You need to be conscious of how you relate to yourself along the way because your new images about life will begin to integrate on a cellular level. You change the intention from the negative, "but I need the money and I’m not going to take any risks," to the positive, "I value myself. I’m willing to explore new possibilities. I deserve personal and financial fulfillment." Once you make this commitment, life begins to present new opportunities from which you create a new reality, a new experience and a new sense of purpose and self-empowerment.

Click Here to learn more about Judith Gruber, LCSW, CCET.