Just as it’s traditional to make New Year’s resolutions, it’s (unfortunately) also traditional to break them. Typically, even the most well-intentioned, firmly resolved commitments to change come apart at the seams before the new year's barely begun. One of the main reasons people fail to follow through is that they take on the challenge of making big changes all on their own. 2010 could be the year you’re finally successful at reaching your goals--if your #1 resolution is to identify and then get whatever help is needed to keep all of your other resolutions!

Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions!

At the beginning of each new year, millions of us commit to resolving personal problems, improving important relationships and/or strengthening our character by making a list of New Year’s resolutions. As far as we know, the inclination to make New Year’s resolutions dates back more than 4,000 years to the Babylonians (whose most popular documented resolution, it seems, was to return borrowed farm equipment!). Perhaps you, too, are resolving to return farm equipment this year, however, chances are, many, if not all, of your personal New Year’s resolutions for 2010 can be found somewhere on this list of American’s "Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions:"

1. Lose Weight

2. Get in Better Shape

3. Quit Smoking

4. Become More Financially Secure

5. Do Something To Improve Some Else’s Life

6. Simplify My Own Life

7. Do Something To Take Better Care of My Community, the Environment, and/or Human Rights Issues

8. Improve Intimate and/or Other Close Relationship(s)

9. Volunteer

10. Travel

Just as it’s traditional to make resolutions, it’s (unfortunately) also traditional to fail to keep them--typically, even the most well-intentioned, firmly resolved commitments to change come apart at the seams by early February. The behaviors, feelings, and thoughts we most want to change have most likely become automatic and, whether we like it or not, have firmly shaped how we’ve become accustomed to being.

Although it’s frustrating, to say the least, to have to admit to yourself that you’ve broken your resolution and reverted back to your old, well-worn habits, it’s important not to give up. Instead, accept setbacks for what they are--temporary lapses--and remember that persistence is key to eventual success.

Getting Started

1. Write your resolutions down and place the list in a prominent place, for example, written on the first page of a new journal, taped to your mirror or computer monitor, or affixed to the door of your refrigerator.

2. Get the help you need! Call and set up appointments with needed sources of support, for instance, a therapist, doctor, personal trainer, teacher, mentor, friend or accountant.

3. Mark your calendar with "benchmark deadlines" indicating all the step-by-step deadlines you can project that lead towards reaching your goal.

4. Start making the desired change(s) as soon as possible.

5. If possible, find a role model. Is there someone you know of who’s succeeded at accomplishing what you’re setting out to do? You can look to this person as a reminder that it’s possible to achieve your goal.

6. Check your progress on a regular basis and give yourself periodic "rewards" for your ongoing efforts. (Make sure the reward is consistent with your resolution—for example, you wouldn’t want to celebrate losing 5 pounds by eating a quart of Haagen-Dazs ice cream!)

7. Let your family and friends know about your new year’s resolutions and welcome their regular reminders and support of your endeavors.

Secure a "Support Team"

One of the main reasons people fail at following through on their New Year’s resolutions is that they take on the challenge of making big changes all on their own. 2010 could be the year you’re finally successful at reaching your goals if your #1 resolution is to identify and then get whatever help is needed to keep all of your other resolutions! If your goal is to get in shape, get a trainer and/or join a gym and/or form a group of friends who also want to adopt a healthier regime and work out together. If your goal is to stop smoking, check with your doctor to see what methods are right for you and ask your friends and family to help support and reinforce your positive efforts.

It could be that a therapist is the most important person to have as a member of your "support team." Change—no matter how much you want it—can be very hard, and there are usually underlying, unresolved issues beneath your old habits and patterns of thinking. Therapists are skilled at helping people assess their current situations, maintain motivation, and accomplish key life-changes.

Whether the desired change is about health habits, intimate relationships, addictive behavior, career, parenting, financial issues, or any other number of significant life-situations, therapists help individuals better understand the issues they’re facing from a personal-history perspective, work to develop personalized strategies for change, guide new coping skills, and support their clients’ efforts as they proceed through the process of productive change.