Homophobia
Homophobia: Irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals (Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 10th Edition, 1993).
As is the case with racism, numerous and complex societal factors contribute to homophobia. And, as with racism, homophobia is based on prejudice towards those who are different. The primary source of homophobia in most Western nations seems to be the Judaeo-Christian religious tradition of opposition to homosexuality, justified by certain passages in Scripture (although in recent years certain “progressive” branches of Protestantism and Judaism are increasingly accepting of homosexuality). From its roots in religion, homophobia has institutionalized itself in the law (in many states one can be legally fired for being homosexual), psychology (until 1980, homosexuality was deemed a mental disorder by the official diagnostic manual of psychology, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), the military (unlike any other minority, avowed homosexuals may not enlist or serve in the armed forces) and popular culture (homosexuals until very recently were usually depicted in movies and on television as either depressed, diseased, deranged, or preying on children).
The evidence that homophobia is a culturally based aversion, rather than a "natural" one, is extensive. Merely contrast the tolerance for gays and lesbians evidenced in Manhattan, Hawaii, or Amsterdam with the intolerance from much of rural America. This is not to say that aversion among many heterosexuals to same-sex sexual relations is in any way unnatural. However, because certain behaviors may be personally distasteful does not mean that they should be universally banned or even condemned (e.g. eating snails!).
Internalized Homophobia: the hatred of one’s own homosexuality
Because of the pervasiveness of homophobia in our culture, we are exposed from a very early age to a constant stream of messages that denigrate homosexuality and homosexuals. For example, “faggot” is one of the most common names used by boys in elementary school to denigrate a classmate. For most people these negative messages become internalized as truths about “the way things really are.” The fact that the messages are culturally constructed becomes invisible (this phenomenon is perhaps most apparent with gender stereotypes--girls “are supposed to be” be sweet and demure, boys aggressive and competitive--but is equally operative vis-à-vis homosexuality).
For someone coming to terms with a homosexual orientation, internalized homophobia can be a devastating, ego-undermining psychological phenomenon. Many believe that the higher rates of substance abuse and suicidality in the gay community are directly related to this internalized homophobia--each offering a means of escape from the pain of feeling that one is fundamentally not O.K., that one is somehow "less than."
Dealing with Internalized Homophobia
The single most important step in liberating oneself from internalized homophobia is recognizing that the source of the bad feelings is external--“programming” written by a society which in general is very negatively disposed towards homosexuality. Homosexuality is generally felt to have a strong genetic component, and is not a deviance or an illness, any more than being left-handed or blue-eyed are.
Another vital step in escaping the grip of internalized homophobia is to “come out” (i.e. reveal one’s sexual orientation) to a trusted friend or relative. Unfortunately, the same forces that create such a stigma around homosexuality can also conspire to prevent people from taking this step.
Some people are so distressed by their homosexual orientation that they seek therapy to alter it. The American Psychological Association has taken the position that there are NO therapies that have demonstrated success in altering sexual orientation, although some have claimed such a focus and ability.
The Value of Professional Counseling
Coming out--whether it’s to your parents, friends, the outside world, even to yourself--can be an extremely complex emotional process. Going through it alone can be very, very hard. It can make all the difference in the world to your position of clarity and self-confidence to have the support of someone who has a good understanding of the many emotional aspects of coming out and can offer useful insight into your particular situation. Many have found that the support of a mental-health professional was extremely instrumental in helping them cope with outside obstacles and work through personal uncertainties and apprehensions.
There are therapists who are especially experienced in gay and lesbian issues. You might consider contacting a therapist in your area who can help you with your particular issues so that you are able to effectively integrate your sexual orientation into a strong and confident self-image.
About Jim Weinstein...
Jim Weinstein, MFT, is a therapist based in Beverly Hills, CA, specializing in spiritual counseling, career counseling, gay and lesbian issues, mid-life issues, and more.
Click Here to learn more about Jim Weinstein.
As is the case with racism, numerous and complex societal factors contribute to homophobia. And, as with racism, homophobia is based on prejudice towards those who are different. The primary source of homophobia in most Western nations seems to be the Judaeo-Christian religious tradition of opposition to homosexuality, justified by certain passages in Scripture (although in recent years certain “progressive” branches of Protestantism and Judaism are increasingly accepting of homosexuality). From its roots in religion, homophobia has institutionalized itself in the law (in many states one can be legally fired for being homosexual), psychology (until 1980, homosexuality was deemed a mental disorder by the official diagnostic manual of psychology, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), the military (unlike any other minority, avowed homosexuals may not enlist or serve in the armed forces) and popular culture (homosexuals until very recently were usually depicted in movies and on television as either depressed, diseased, deranged, or preying on children).
The evidence that homophobia is a culturally based aversion, rather than a "natural" one, is extensive. Merely contrast the tolerance for gays and lesbians evidenced in Manhattan, Hawaii, or Amsterdam with the intolerance from much of rural America. This is not to say that aversion among many heterosexuals to same-sex sexual relations is in any way unnatural. However, because certain behaviors may be personally distasteful does not mean that they should be universally banned or even condemned (e.g. eating snails!).
Internalized Homophobia: the hatred of one’s own homosexuality
Because of the pervasiveness of homophobia in our culture, we are exposed from a very early age to a constant stream of messages that denigrate homosexuality and homosexuals. For example, “faggot” is one of the most common names used by boys in elementary school to denigrate a classmate. For most people these negative messages become internalized as truths about “the way things really are.” The fact that the messages are culturally constructed becomes invisible (this phenomenon is perhaps most apparent with gender stereotypes--girls “are supposed to be” be sweet and demure, boys aggressive and competitive--but is equally operative vis-à-vis homosexuality).
For someone coming to terms with a homosexual orientation, internalized homophobia can be a devastating, ego-undermining psychological phenomenon. Many believe that the higher rates of substance abuse and suicidality in the gay community are directly related to this internalized homophobia--each offering a means of escape from the pain of feeling that one is fundamentally not O.K., that one is somehow "less than."
Dealing with Internalized Homophobia
The single most important step in liberating oneself from internalized homophobia is recognizing that the source of the bad feelings is external--“programming” written by a society which in general is very negatively disposed towards homosexuality. Homosexuality is generally felt to have a strong genetic component, and is not a deviance or an illness, any more than being left-handed or blue-eyed are.
Another vital step in escaping the grip of internalized homophobia is to “come out” (i.e. reveal one’s sexual orientation) to a trusted friend or relative. Unfortunately, the same forces that create such a stigma around homosexuality can also conspire to prevent people from taking this step.
Some people are so distressed by their homosexual orientation that they seek therapy to alter it. The American Psychological Association has taken the position that there are NO therapies that have demonstrated success in altering sexual orientation, although some have claimed such a focus and ability.
The Value of Professional Counseling
Coming out--whether it’s to your parents, friends, the outside world, even to yourself--can be an extremely complex emotional process. Going through it alone can be very, very hard. It can make all the difference in the world to your position of clarity and self-confidence to have the support of someone who has a good understanding of the many emotional aspects of coming out and can offer useful insight into your particular situation. Many have found that the support of a mental-health professional was extremely instrumental in helping them cope with outside obstacles and work through personal uncertainties and apprehensions.
There are therapists who are especially experienced in gay and lesbian issues. You might consider contacting a therapist in your area who can help you with your particular issues so that you are able to effectively integrate your sexual orientation into a strong and confident self-image.
About Jim Weinstein...
Jim Weinstein, MFT, is a therapist based in Beverly Hills, CA, specializing in spiritual counseling, career counseling, gay and lesbian issues, mid-life issues, and more.
Click Here to learn more about Jim Weinstein.
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