As a psychotherapist in Baltimore, Maryland, I have heard countless stories from female clients about their controlling husbands or boyfriends. My goal in therapy is to help the client recognize the role they play in such a relationship. Often these women feel afraid and dependent on their partner. They almost always succumb to their partner’s demands and verbal abuse. I point out to these women that it really is their husband who is afraid and suffers from low self-esteem, or possibly depression or alcoholism. Their husbands bully them because they know they can bully them. Women will not leave or take action, so their husbands repeatedly disrespect them to make themselves feel more in control.

Many times women stay in their marriage for financial security or for the sake of the kids. What these women often fail to realize is their kids are suffering because they are watching a marriage where neither partner respects each other. In addition, their children are spectators of verbal and physical abuse which also makes it difficult for them to form healthy and meaningful relationships as adults. Women are not happy in their marriages, but they feel they do not have the power to build a new life for themselves--so they become a prisoner in their own home.

I teach women who are clients of mine how to approach their husband differently, so they gain the respect they deserve. I also give them strategies to become more independent financially, emotionally and spiritually. Women need to realize they have the ability to improve their marriage and/or build a new life for themselves. The first step to feeling empowered begins with you.