» Life Topics » Stress
Feeling Stressed Out?
By: By Judy Martin, MFT
Amidst terrifying events, we experience immense helplessness. This same signature helplessness also occurs under less extreme circumstances. High stress states prepare us for survival--to flee or fight. Blood rushes into our organs to protect vital functions and leaves the extremities (protecting us from bleeding to death). Our senses are heightened, our attention, like tunnel vision, focuses on that which is immediately before us.
The following is a partial list of indicators of high level stress upon our nervous system: rapid shallow breathing from the upper chest, frequent blinking, feelings of disorientation or confusion, difficulty in problem solving, agitation, sleep disturbance, flashbacks, itchy prickly skin, irritability, intense vulnerability, a sense of distance from self, twitchy legs and feet that feel like they’ve got Mexican jumping beans dancing around in them.
When we can neither flee nor fight, our psychological defenses kick in and mercifully create a sense of protective distance from our feelings. We may spontaneously resort to defense patterns that we learned as children: suppressing thoughts and feeling or vigilantly attempting to control or predict someone else’s behavior. Whether in an agitated or numbed state, we aren’t psychologically or physiologically prepared to see the big picture or problem solve. We feel stuck.
However, during times when we truly can’t change our external circumstances we do possess healing resources that, like a raft, float us over life’s white water rapids. Touch, breath, and speaking our true feelings help us become that life raft.
Breath: When stressed our breathing becomes shallow and rapid. Symptoms of such breathing are: physical weakness, light-headedness, confusion, difficulty concentrating, a sense of distance from ourselves.
Breathing instead, into the lower lobes of our lungs, oxygenates our body, eliminates toxins and creates vibrancy. Gay Hendricks, author of Conscious Breathing, recommends these breathing practices:
TO FEEL VIBRANT THROUGHOUT THE DAY, REMEMBER THESE SIMPLE THINGS:
1. Let your body move with your breathing. Avoid any posture that keeps your spine from flexing with every breath.
2. Let your belly relax as you breath. Keep your awareness on belly-tension throughout the day. When you feel your belly tense up, relax it and take a few deep breaths down and in to your belly.
3. Feel the pause at the end of each out breath.
4. Now and then throughout the day, Take a "whole-body breath": Let your belly expand with the in-breath, then bring the breath all the way up so that it expands your rib-cage and collar-bones.
Touch: Stress hormones and other body waste products are released through the skin. When we are upset, and a dear one holds us, not only do we enjoy their love and affection emotionally, it heals us—skin deep.
Bathing in Epsom salts or mineral salt baths, using a loofah or a brush, removes toxins from our skin. And although touching ourselves with compassion and care may not feel as wonderful as being held by someone dear to us, it does relieve stress hormones stored beneath the skin (and then we feel less edgy and irritable).
Expressing our truth: Following an overwhelming event we need to debrief what happened. With repetition, the "charge" on the event lessens. Furthermore, when we talk with someone who listens well, we gain a sense of connectedness to others and ourselves.
The formal and informal gatherings and candle light vigils, which occurred on Memorial Friday, were healing to our country and healing to our bodies. Such sharing of human kindness restores our resilience and helps us move on.
Hopefully you will find the aforementioned resources of breathing, touch and conversation helpful. And, everyone has his or her own time-line for healing. However, if you are concerned about your own level of stress, a few sessions with a skilled therapist can offer great relief.
Copyright: © Judy Martin MFT 2001. All Rights Reserved
About Judy Martin, MFT...
Judy Martin, MFT, is a therapist based in San Francisco, California, specializing in adolescent issues, bereavement/grief, marriage/couples issues, parenting issues, PTSD, and more.
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