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Is it Selfish to Want to Be Happier?

By Nancy Montagna, Ph.D., & Robin Carnes, MBA

Every now and then, in the midst of the headlong thrust into the next thing on our schedule, we all take a deep breath and pause for a moment of reflection. Ahh...What comes up? If we are honest with ourselves it’s probably a familiar yearning: "I want to be happier. I want more out of life than this."
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Featured Columns by 4Therapy Therapists


Be Optimistic!

By Jill MacDonald, MA, LPC

Dare to allow yourself to think the best. Hope for the best. See the best in yourself and others. Dream. Care. Love. Believe. This type of thinking is good for everyone. Of course, you might challenge me and say: I will hurt so much more if I am optimistic and “it” does not happen...

Are You in an Unhappy Relationship? Part 2 - The truth about better late than never…

By Claire Arene, MSW, LCSW

Surprisingly, one of the main reasons couples in crisis fail to seek therapy early is their unwillingness to come to terms with the extent to which their relationship has deteriorated, and/or the embarrassment of admitting to others that they are having problems.

Navigating the Turbulent Waters of Change

By Jim Weinstein, MFT

Many changes, particularly gradual ones, can be negotiated relatively effortlessly and painlessly. But at dozens, or perhaps even hundreds of times in life, changes occur that are abrupt (perhaps unexpected, perhaps not) and often painful, even if the changes are so-called "positive" ones.

Sandwich Generation

By Michelle Gottlieb, Psy.D., MFT

Are you part of the Sandwich Generation? If you are a caretaker of both your parents and your children, guess what? You are! Our parents were part of the Sandwich Generation with their parents. Our children will be part of a Sandwich Generation taking care of us. It is part of life.

Selfish?

By Michelle Gottlieb, PsyD., MFT

What is wrong with asking for what you want? Some people feel by doing so that you are being pushy or selfish or greedy. Others feel that if our loved ones really cared about us, we would not have to ask. Our loved ones should be able to know what we want and provide it for us...

When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go Of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting On With Our Lives

By Jane Adams, Ph.D. / Published by Free Press Inc.

The lives of grown children constitute an important lens through which we judge ourselves and our accomplishments; it is through reconsidering their adult successes and failures that we seek, retroactively, to validate the kinds of parents we were and the responsible caring we provided.


Related Information


Menopause

Menopause, or the “change of life,” is different for each woman. For example, hot flashes and sleep problems may trouble your sister. Meanwhile, you could have a new sense of freedom and energy. Your best friend might hardly be aware of a change at all.

The Link Between Depression and Heart Disease

Depression can strike anyone. However, research over the past two decades has shown that people with heart disease are more likely to suffer from depression than otherwise healthy people and, conversely, people with depression are at greater risk for developing heart disease.

Caffeine is No Substitute for a Nap

Ninety percent of Americans use caffeine daily, some substituting it for sleep. While the stimulant enhances alertness and concentration, it's been unclear whether it also helps learning and memory. By contrast, daytime naps, like nighttime sleep, benefit both alertness and memory.

Why “My Get Up and Go Has Got Up and Went”

Using two different types of brain scanners in the same participants, researchers demonstrated for the first time in living humans how the activity of dopamine, a key messenger chemical, in the middle of the brain affects reward related circuitry at the front of the brain — and how this changes as we age.

New Therapies Show Promise for Vascular Depression for the Elderly

Researchers see new treatments on the horizon for a type of depression related to blood vessels that affects the elderly, and have discovered why some elderly people fail to respond to current medications.

Weight-loss Dieting Lowers Inflammation, Could Lower Disease Risk

A growing number of research studies point to chronic inflammation in the body as a risk factor for several diseases, including heart disease, stroke, and diabetes, and for death. A recent study looked at the effects of weight-loss dieting and physical activity on inflammation.

Studies Suggest Low-Calorie Diets Could Slow Aging

Previous research has shown that calorie restriction may slow aging and increase lifespan in small mammals. But would the same apply to humans? Two recent studies supported by the National Institutes of Health indicate this may be the case.

Online Health Information: Can You Trust It?

There are thousands of health-related websites on the Internet. Some of the information on these websites is reliable and can be trusted. Some of it is not. Some of the information is current. Some of it is not. Choosing which website to trust is worth thinking about.

Medications: Use Them Safely

Modern medicine has made our lives better in many ways. It has helped older adults live longer, healthier lives. But people over 65 have to be careful when taking medications, especially when they’re taking many different drugs.

One of the Reasons Why Women Tend To Live Longer Than Men…

When the body is stressed it triggers a hormone called oxytocin. This fast hormone flush rather predictably causes the "fight or flight" response in men. However, in women, high estrogen levels can dull the hormone’s effects and instead produce a different reaction, something that can be thought of as a "tend or befriend" response.

Seniors and the "Holiday Blues"

As the winter holiday season unfolds, many--including those who are older--find they feel progressively disappointed, stressed, and sad. Learn about how you, or a senior you care about, can help prevent the "holiday blues" from putting a damper on this year’s festivities...

When You're Older and Depressed...

Depression among the elderly can be hard to recognize. Often symptoms--such as decreased appetite or insomnia--are attributed to other health problems or to aging in general. It isn't "normal" to feel depressed all the time when you get older--in fact, most older people feel satisfied with their lives. Nonetheless, among people 65 years of age and over--as many as 3 out of 100--suffer from clinical depression.

Primary Care Doctors May Overlook Elderly Patients’ Mental Health

A recent study's results indicate that primary care doctors need more support in how to identify, treat and refer patients to mental health specialists.

Mourning the Death of a Spouse

Andrew, age 73, felt like the wind had been knocked out of him when his wife died. He began sleeping all day and staying up at night watching TV. Meals were mostly snacks like cookies and chips. He knew it wasn't healthy, but he didn't know what to do. Across town, Alice woke up in a panic. It had been 5 weeks since Jeff, her husband of 41 years, died. She cared for him during his long illness. How was she going to cope with the loneliness?

Nursing Homes: Making the Right Choice

Emma’s family didn’t know what to do. Her son put grab bars in the shower. Her daughter brought lunch over every day. The neighbors checked in often. But at 82 Emma needed more help. Staying home alone just wasn’t working for Emma.

Older Drivers

At age 75, Sheila thinks she's a very good driver. And she wanted to stay that way. So she got her eyes and hearing checked to make sure she can see and hear well enough to drive safely. Then she signed up to take a driving course for older drivers at her local automobile club. Will all this effort guarantee Sheila's road safety?

Osteoporosis: The Bone Thief

Bone is living tissue. To keep bones strong, your body is always breaking down old bone and replacing it with new bone tissue. As people enter their forties and fifties, more bone is broken down than is replaced.

Long-Distance Caregiving

Long-distance caregiving can be figuring out what you can do to help Aunt Lilly sort through her medical bills or thinking about how to make the most of a weekend visit with Mom. It can include checking the references of an aide who’s been hired to help your grandfather or trying to take the pressure off your sister who lives in the same town as her aging parents and her aging in-laws.

Helping Depressed Elderly Reduce Suicidal Thoughts

Older Americans comprise 13 percent of the population but account for 18 percent of all suicides. The major risk factor for suicide in late life is major depression. Since most older Americans who kill themselves have seen their doctor within a month of the event, effectively treating depression in primary care is a preventive intervention that can save lives.

Midlife Eating Disorders

A surprisingly fast-growing number of individuals in their late 40’s and early 50’s are finding they’re relapsing after having overcome an eating disorder in their youth--and still other "mid-lifers" are experiencing problems related to compulsive food management for the very first time.

Alcohol Affects Older People Differently

Alcohol's effects do vary with age. Even small amounts of alcohol can create problems for older people because as the body ages, the effects of alcohol can become amplified. The likelihood of taking more medications as you get older also risks increasing alcohol's effects.

Easing the Added Stress of Caregiving During the Holidays

For millions of Americans who find themselves in the role of caregiver to an older frail, ill, or disabled relative, the weeks leading up to and including the winter holiday season can add to an already heavy load of responsibilities and cause feelings of stress to soar.

The Therapeutic Benefits of Journaling

Journaling can help individuals detangle their thoughts and feelings, increase focus, know themselves better, build self-esteem, manage stress, solve problems more effectively, let go of the past, and resolve disagreements or conflicts with others. Experts believe that by understanding yourself better, you are better able to make decisions that are in line with your values and goals.

Depression and Stroke

Depression can strike anyone, but people with serious illnesses such as stroke are at greater risk. Appropriate diagnosis and treatment of depression can bring substantial benefits to persons recovering from a stroke by improving their medical status, enhancing their quality of life, reducing their pain and disability, and even shortening the rehabilitation process.

Seniors and the "Post-Holiday Blues"

Many—especially the elderly—find that as the winter holiday season unfolds they feel progressively disappointed, stressed and sad. However, there are ways you or a senior you care about can avoid the "post-holiday blues" and instead start off the new year with an energetic and optimistic outlook.

 





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Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being




Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life from the Landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development

Welcome to Your Brain: Why You Lose Your Car Keys but Never Forget How to Drive and Other Puzzles of Everyday Life


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