Selfish vs Assertive
By Susan Axtell, Psy.D.
Is it ever right to be “selfish”? Periodically in my practice I notice a theme common to several different cases at once. It seems that lately I find myself exploring with patients the difference between selfishness and self protectiveness, or asserting one’s needs in a relationship.
Dating: Some Unconscious Influences
By Donald Mars, Ph.D.
When singles feel like everyone else is in a relationship or they find themselves consistently being told by the people with whom they are attracted that only friendship, not romance is possible, then I wonder what is so threatening about the available and interested singles who are being set aside.
What is Real Love?
By Colette Dowling, LMSW
True love is not only hard to find, it’s also hard to tolerate. All of us have been wounded in some way, either by early love relationships or later ones. Naturally, we create defenses to avoid getting hurt again - but we also maintain defenses against love itself. Why?
Building Better Boundaries
By David Sternberg, LICSW
Recently, several women in their 20s have come to see me because of their troubling relationships with their mothers. These young women are smart, ambitious, and otherwise successful in their careers and intimate relationships. But when it comes to their mothers, they haven’t developed the skills necessary to maintain healthy boundaries and enter therapy depressed, anxious, or sometimes both.
Is it Selfish to Want to Be Happier?
By Nancy Montagna, Ph.D., & Robin Carnes, MBA
Every now and then, in the midst of the headlong thrust into the next thing on our schedule, we all take a deep breath and pause for a moment of reflection. Ahh...What comes up? If we are honest with ourselves it’s probably a familiar yearning: "I want to be happier. I want more out of life than this."
Basic Stroke Information
Brain cells die when they no longer receive oxygen and nutrients from the blood or when they are damaged by sudden bleeding into or around the brain. These damaged cells can linger in a compromised state for several hours. With timely treatment, these cells can be saved.
Secrets to Running a Profitable Family Business
By Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D.
Although it is a lot work to maintain a healthy personal relationship among the busy-ness of entrepreneurial life, the methods of doing so are simple. Successful entrepreneurial couples already know these secrets. Now it’s your turn to cash in on what they know!
The Concept of Prosperity
by Frank Nichols,LCSW
For some the idea of prosperity imbues a sense of money, but allow me to ask a series of questions in order to expand this idea. What would prosperous relationships or friendships look like? What would a prosperous home life look like? What about a prosperous career? What would emotional prosperity look like?
The Wish to Be Saved
By Colette Dowling, LMSW
New York therapist Colette Dowling wrote "The Cinderella Complex" in response to women's deep-seated conflicts with independence. The book caused a shockwave of recognition across the country. Soon it became a best seller and was eventually translated into 23 languages. Following are the opening pages of "The Cinderella Complex."
A New Groove
By Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D.
If you are feeling stuck, but don’t know how to change or don’t seem able to, you need not give up. A skilled therapist will be able to help you develop the vision, strategies, support, and dedicated focus that you need to shift your life into a new groove.
Recession Survival for Couples
By Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D.
As the recession continues, many couples are struggling. In my office, I see partners fight about how to spend or save; criticize and blame their partners for financial woes; and retreat from each other in silence or anger. What is going on?
The Empty Nest
By Stanley E. Hibbs, Ph.D.
With our younger son off to college, my wife and I have entered the phase called the “empty nest.” I don’t know who invented that phrase, but I don’t much care for it. “Empty” implies that “there’s no one there.” Actually, there are two healthy, happy, positive-thinking adults in the “nest” who are looking forward to new adventures. There’s nothing “empty” about our nest.
Tangos Of Debt Accumulation
By Mitchell Milch, LCSW
Every couple dances in complementary ways. Some of these dances are healthier than others. When it involves a pattern of debt accumulation, it may look like one partner is the aggressive culprit and the other is the helpless victim--but don’t be so sure. The two "dancers" likely have deeply personal agendas perpetuating their shared tango of debt accumulation.
Start “Wanting” Yourself
By David Sternberg, LICSW
After so many years of hearing from others what we should do and say (and shouldn’t do and say), many of us are now experts at "shoulding" ourselves. When making a decision, most of us respond with the automatic “should” so often that we don’t even consider our own needs.
Stop and Smell the Roses
By Jill MacDonald, MA, LPC
We have all heard this expression many times in our lives. As we grow older, we come to appreciate this more and more. We begin (hopefully) to see how precious our lives are and how brief. However, during the years of parenting our young children, we often forget to “stop and smell the roses.”
Nobody’s Perfect
By David Sternberg, LICSW
We may be in a good relationship and/or have a rewarding job. But when our reality doesn’t match our idealized notions of what a job or a mate is supposed to be, not only are we disappointed, we often become depressed, angry and resentful. We feel as if we have failed in some deep and meaningful way.
Finding True Love
By Jim Weinstein, MBA, MFT
The successful quest for love frequently involves a rigorous honesty with ourselves, an honesty that will provide an in-depth answer to the question: "what will make me really happy," rather than simply "what do I want." Unfortunately, it is often the case that what we want will not really make us happy.
Have More Satisfying Relationships With Yourself and Others
By Susan Pazak, Ph.D.
Improving relationships will improve your quality of life! At one time or another we have allowed our dissatisfaction with ourselves or others to make or break our day.
Changing Your Reality
By Jim Weinstein, MBA, MFT
The phrases "face up to reality," "in reality," "up against reality," "reality check," and "virtual reality" all convey a meaning of reality as a state that is true and factual. In fact, reality to a great degree depends on the very personal perspective through which it is experienced.
Leaving Home
By Sally Frances, MA, LCSW
The developmental task of leaving home not only comes into play for adolescents who are contemplating their physical leave-taking in order to go to college or move into their own place after graduation, but also for older people who left home long ago and who now have families of their own. For these individuals, too, "leaving home" can become an important issue to work on in therapy.
Respectfully Wield Personal Power
By Jonathan Goodman-Herrick, CSW
To meet the remarkable challenge of being in a couple relationship, it is essential to respectfully wield a significant amount of personal power. Personal power is the strength and self-validation to freely and fully assert, when it is appropriate, our own needs and feelings. It is the capacity to take authority, to lead and to influence, to give voice to ourselves, to speak or act on our own truth.
Your Real Family
By Michelle Gottlieb, MFT
Family is not, necessarily, those people that you are related to biologically or legally. Family, according to my definition, consists of those people who are supportive, nurturing and accepting of you. Family is made up of the people that you go to when you have a problem and who will always help you. Family is comprised of the people that you would support no matter what is happening in your life.
Saying "Yes" to Life!
By Michelle Gottlieb, MFT
How often has the fear that we may get hurt stopped us from trying something new or reaching out to another human. Yes, we may get hurt, but we can learn from that, too. If we never try anything new, we will never grow.
Do You Really Know How to Communicate?
By Mary Ann Massey, Ed.D.
No doubt, if you're male, your female partners, friends, and/or spouse have accused you of not listening to them well. If you're female, your male partners, friends, and/or spouse have probably asked you to spare them the details and get to the point...All of us can call to mind exchanges that got out of hand--and want to know why!
Getting a Loved One to Change
By Jim Weinstein, MBA, MFT
The truth is that people are rarely unaware of the negative consequences of their behavior. It's far more likely that either they see no alternative to that behavior, or that they're using it to cover up/compensate for feelings of fear, shame, guilt, anger, or jealousy. Therefore, a lecture (no matter how well-intentioned or gently delivered) is unlikely to help them to change.
Heart to Heart
By Lana M. Ackaway, LCSW-R, NCPsyAv, CASAC
I like to help others manage and resolve difficulties of the heart - love, loss, and work during significant life changes/transitions; for example, career change, death/illness in family, early "recovery," relapse with addiction(s), divorce, new marriage, new success, etc. As a first step in this process I help you identify your issues via your participation in a specialized two-session personal "Heart To Heart Checkup."
Relationship Therapy Group
By Marci Steinberg, LCSW
Many people don’t realize that the ability to be a partner in a quality romantic relationship is based on healthy relationship skills that are learned, rather than something we are born with. Group Therapy is an excellent opportunity for people to experience themselves and others as they currently are in their relationships--and to learn to respond at a level that is productive rather than destructive.
Nurture the Friendship in Your Marriage
By Nancy Gump, LMFT
Creating and sustaining friendship and shared meaning are the primary necessities for a strong marital foundation. Inevitably, every relationship has some areas of perpetual conflict. Couples become stronger if they learn to build on their friendship, and to distinguish between their solvable and unsolvable problems.
Turn the Great Wheel Of Change
By Jonathan Goodman-Herrick, CSW
There is only one place where we can dependably turn around a primary relationship. It is not in our partner. It is not in our relationship as a whole. Even our character and behavior are not the place to begin. The only place to dependably turn a relationship around is in our own heart.
Healthy Families
By Michelle Gottlieb, MFCC
One of the most important components of a healthy society is a healthy family. But what are the components of a healthy family? Several things go into creating a family relatively free of dysfunction.
Chance Encounters
By Dr. Bradley Olson
The events of that day so long ago which I thought to be miraculous were not, and the seemingly everyday, conversational leave-takings of my family, which I naively believed to be merely ordinary, were truly extraordinary. Hardly a day goes by when I don’t think of my grandmother or her legacy and in some way or another, however briefly, I miss her with all the conviction a 10-year-old heart can conjure…
Five Steps to a Better Relationship
By David Sternberg, LICSW
I do a lot of couples counseling, and I often see couples make the same mistakes, mostly having to do with poor listening and communication skills. So I’ve developed a list of five things you and your spouse, or partner, can do to improve your relationship.
Dealing with Criticism
By Stanley E. Hibbs, Ph.D.
Most of us don’t respond well to criticism. We deny, defend, whine, sulk, and/or counterattack. This may feel good in the short term, but it rarely helps in the long term. The criticism escalates, feelings are hurt, and important relationships are damaged.
Why Women Have Trouble With Self-Confidence...
By Colette Dowling, LMSW
Women actually learn low self-confidence; they're trained for it. Studies show that girls--especially smarter ones--have severe problems with self-confidence. They consistently underestimate their own ability.
Create a Better Work-Life Balance and Enjoy a Happier Life (1.)
By Patricia Walker, Ph.D.
An important part of a building a happy life is creating a balance among work, personal and family needs that will allow you to pursue your dreams, achieve your goals, and enhance your physical and emotional well-being. The right balance will be different for each person. However, finding and maintaining the balance that suits you best is not always a straightforward process.
Do You Become A Vending Machine When Your Buttons Are Pushed?
By Mitchell Milch, CSW
We all fall prey to moments when adult self restraint goes out the window in retaliation for being "the good victim." Still, it’s no accident that if we are likely to "lose it" on a regular basis we probably have found partners that have a mutual need to accommodate us because they too either "lose it" frequently or also have vested interests in being victims.
Marriage, Communication, Sex
By Dr. Frank Papandrea
Being intimate in relationships requires health in three areas - emotionally, mentally and physically. While effective communication is the primary vehicle of intimacy, it too often remains the number one absent portion of the relationship quota.
Boundary Issues
By Jane Adams, Ph.D.
Boundaries are key to how we deal with intimacy, loneliness, conflict, anxiety, stress and challenges at every stage of life. Problems with interpersonal boundaries are frequently at the root of relationship difficulties – between parents and children, spouses, partners, friends, and professional colleagues.
Feminism and Psychotherapy
By Susan M. Axtell, Psy.D.
In many ways psychotherapy and feminism seem like they should go hand in hand. Both are about empowerment, self-understanding, and health. Both deal with the negative effects of (patriarchal) society on the psychology of women and men.
The Most Important Step to Overcoming Rejection
By Claire Arene, MSW, LCSW
The ability to subvert the harmful, long lasting effects of being rejected depends on your ability to understand the behavior of the individual who rejects, the way you choose to interpret the messages conveyed by rejection, and how you choose to integrate those messages into your sense of self.
Are You in an Unhealthy Relationship?
By Claire Arene, MSW, LCSW
The longer an unhealthy relationship continues, the more damaging it becomes and the more difficult it can be to engage in a healthy relationship in which there is genuine love and acceptance. We all have a responsibility to safeguard our emotional and mental wellbeing in pretty much the same way we safeguard our physical health.
An Introduction to Goal-Directed Therapy: Therapy With An End In Sight
By Thelma Golub, MFT
In Goal-Directed Therapy, you do not spend endless and expensive weeks, months, and years rehashing your dysfunctional childhood, pointing blame at other people, or complaining about the terrible hand life has dealt you. While these issues may legitimately arise in the course of the therapeutic process, they are not the focus of Goal-Directed Therapy.
Headed Toward Love?
By Michelle Gottlieb, MFT
I recently had someone write me to ask how she could tell if someone really loved her or if he was just using her. Now, according to the old song, "it's in his kiss"--but I am not sure if the is the best way.
Family Therapy with Families Facing Catastrophic Illness--Building Internal and External Resources
By Ellen Pulleyblank Coffey, Ph.D.
When crises become the norm of life, durational time sets in. This is time without past or future and with a recurring experience of a disturbing present that is difficult to organize, express or forget...Often we and the people around us expect our grief to last for a prescribed length of time. Depending on the level of stress during an illness, this experience can last for much longer than we would expect.
Remembering Fabulous Frank
By Janis Jennings, Ph.D.
Childhood memories of how we interacted with our parents and grandparents continue, at some level, to inform us about the bittersweet complexities of families. Whether our early experiences were loving and nurturing, hurtful and perplexing, or something in the middle, they influence what we either want or don’t want in our present day relationships.
Reality Online Dating--Tips for Smart Surfing
By Pamela Smale Williams, LPC, LMFT, AAMFT
There are advantages to online dating, such as the ability to be able to chat back and forth before taking the leap of meeting in person. There is also the added benefit of getting to see what someone looks like. No longer do you have to be shocked or taken aback when your blind date shows up that first time!
| 
