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How Fast are You Going? Does Your Life Feel Balanced?
By: Kristen Platt, PsyD. MFT
Imagine that life is a road and you are driving on it. What does your speedometer say? 100 mph? 150 mph? What is along the side of the road? Can you see what's there, or are you going too fast? It's not just the scenery we miss when we travel through life at a high rate of speed. There are many important turns and look out points that lead to personal satisfaction and growth, yet, we often don't see them. We forget where we are going and why, and we lose touch with ourselves. Our lives become quite unbalanced. Working hard and focusing on tasks, we forget to take time for ourselves and our relationships.
Our physical and emotional well being depends in part on how we treat ourselves. It also involves relating to others in a healthy way and thereby, gaining the satisfaction and connections we all seek from our relationships. This is hard to do these days because we are an extremely busy and driven society. We race through life rarely stopping to examine the way we live and relate. Often it is not until we find ourselves in a crisis that we begin to try to sort things out and grow. For example, crises such as health problems and relationship difficulties can slow us down and make us take a look at our lives. This type of growth usually feels forced. We are forced into seeing the reality of our lives when crises occur.
It is quite possible to change this pattern. We can learn to slow down and see what is happening along the side of the road and turn off or even stop when we are faced with something important to explore or experience. It is important to know that we can stop or slow down when we need to pay attention to what is happening around us. Practicing this is at the heart of "self-care."
Self-care means:
Clarifying your responsibilities and not taking on those of another, taking time to get to know what you need and what you enjoy, being honest with yourself and others, and saying "no" to requests which you cannot reasonably accommodate.
It is difficult to slow down, yet we must. We need to become aware of healthy ways to care for ourselves as we attain our goals. We can improve our physical and emotional well-being without sacrificing ambition and responsibility if we pay attention to the signs along the road and take better care of ourselves. When we do, our relationships improve as well because we are less frustrated, have more energy and more to give. I have seen this transformation occur in many clients I have worked with over the years. It is possible to develop freedom, joy and a sense of ownership in your life!
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