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Dealing with Criticism
By: Stanley E. Hibbs, Ph.D.
No one likes to be criticized. I wish I could avoid it completely, but that’s not the way life works.
Most of us don’t respond well to criticism. We deny, defend, whine, sulk, and/or counterattack. This may feel good in the short term, but it rarely helps in the long term. The criticism escalates, feelings are hurt, and important relationships are damaged.
Here’s a radical alternative. “Disarm” the criticism by agreeing with it. No matter how unfair or undeserved, it may contain a modicum of truth. If someone says you’re “selfish,” reply with “I can be selfish sometimes.” Acknowledge the modicum of truth, and the critic might back off.
This isn’t passive acceptance of verbal abuse. The underlying attitude is one of mutual respect. It says, “I value your opinion. I can acknowledge my imperfections. Nevertheless, your criticism doesn’t determine how I feel about myself.”
You won’t be able (or willing) to do this all the time, but practice it when you can. I’d love to hear your questions or comments. You can email me at drhibbs@drhibbs.com.
Click Here to learn more about Stanley E. Hibbs.
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