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Tell Me Anything--But Don’t Tell Me To Stop Training
By: Mitchell Milch, CSW
Here you come with your signature limp and stifled grimace of pain. Your stark look of disappointment suggests that ice, anti-inflammatory drugs and electro stimulation therapy have collectively done little to alleviate your demoralizing leg pains. Your doctor, the reluctant magician, knows what’s coming next but, his Hippocratic Oath will not permit a surrender to the impulse to run and hide under his desk. The first imploring words out of your mouth are: "Doc, I’ve been training for six months to run/swim/bike a PR in this major race. I’m soooooo close. I can’t stop training now. You’ve gotta help me!"
Common sense suggests that you wave the white flag of frustration and disappointment, ask for a hug and then, drown your sorrows in endless pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream until you can accept a few weeks of enforced idleness. Maybe then you’ll seize the rare opportunity to start reading those books you never found the time to pick up or, perhaps, learn to play that instrument your parents returned decades ago when you threw it at your brother. Between the expletives you are probably muttering: "This guy is clueless. He doesn’t understand how hard I’ve worked to get to this point." Your "clueless author" would ask you to consider that if some part of you didn’t want to get off the "training treadmill" then, you wouldn’t be where you are right now looking to turn your physician into the "bad guy" when he asks you: "Would you like to take two weeks off now or six months later?" Worse yet, you may know deep down in your heart that what you hope to achieve in performing at your best is not what it’s all cracked up to be in your fantasies.
Your sports medicine doc has already figured out after the third or fourth go around that he is wasting his breath asking you to consider the probable consequences of abusing your body and how you would feel if such a scenario was played out It’s amazing how deaf we can be when we don’t want to hear what we most need to listen to. Why even recommend non weight bearing aerobics when he knows that to belabor the point is to risk losing you as a patient? So, how is a health care provider to deal with athletes like us who believe that a world without pumping endorphins is a world without sunshine?
I’m thinking specifically about the injuries sustained by us who believe that "more training is better," "too much training is never enough," and that "less is more" is reserved for lazy underachievers. By "training on the edge" we repudiate the time honored notions of rest and recovery. Without them, the body breaks down rather than adapting to training stress in ways that translate to higher levels of performance. So why then, do we cut off our noses to spite our faces?
The answers are many and they’re not mutually exclusive. Principally, owing to how our personalities develop we have little trust in processes we don’t completely control like creativity, emotions and, fitness improvements that require rest and recovery. "Doing" is valued, "being" is not. We may move so urgently toward our desired goals as to not even question why we are in such a rush. We will move until we run out of gas or crash. Then, we may indulge ourselves in passive pleasures such as eating, drinking, watching television and sleeping until the rooster crows the next morning. Then, it’s back off to the races!
Some of my clients describe themselves as "slaves" to their jobs, hobbies, and athletic pursuits without recognizing the poignant implications of this metaphor. We may kick and scream at the suggestion that we "shut it down" for awhile. Meanwhile, seldom if ever do we even realize that such dramatic refrains are nothing more than defense mechanisms against guilt provoking wishes to "take it easy." Therefore, in truth we may be begging for firm paternal benevolent responses such as: "I don’t want to see you in my office again unless you stay off the bike/roads for ___ days." Others may feel like "bumps on a log" when they are not training.
Unbeknownst to ourselves we may harbor fears that if we stop cracking the proverbial whips we may never muster the motivation to train again. Such self doubts often originate in childhood as well meaning parents unwittingly transmit through words and actions: "If I weren’t here to push you, you’d get nothing done." Others learned early on that one is not entitled to enjoy any aspect of life if one did not first pay "with a pound of flesh."
Finally, the structure of intense, all consuming training regimens may be a way of resolving the dilemma over where to draw the line with the expectations of our loved ones we need too much to say "no" to. We certainly put all kinds of distance between ourselves and our loved ones when our training regimens assume our highest priorities. If our loved ones wind up "minding the store" when we are out training for our marathons, biathlons and triathlons we are certainly making experiences of extreme dependency a self-fulfilling prophecy. Furthermore, the pressures that ensue to "pull our weight" at home and show that we love our significant others nearly as much as our sports can turn our home lives into second jobs. If we are sufficiently anxious about getting off our express trains long enough to embrace the question: "Am I living my life the way I wish to live it?" then all our whining about not having enough time to do this or that doesn’t really add up to anything more than spitting in the wind. We will continue to train to the point of extreme fatigue and the risk of injury and/or stress induced illness. Before we can choose to call a "time out" we may have to answer what may be an age old, unresolved question: "Whose life is this anyway?"
If you are a "workaholic" on or off the athletic field it may be time to ask yourself why is it that my "things to do" list is perpetually filled with things to do and this unfinished business rules your life even when the business isn’t urgent or important? Maybe it’s time to consider that a little less pain and suffering will result in better performances, greater enjoyment and more time to nurture multiple sources of self-esteem. We may underestimate our abilities to trust the messages our inner voices communicate to us. Our bodies speak volumes. Start listening!
Click Here to learn more about Mitchell Milch,
CSW.
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