» Life Topics » Family & Relationships » Sex
How Is Your Sexual Health?
By: Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D.
An individual's sexual well-being deserves the same attention as any other aspect of mental and physical health. Though people may give sexual health little thought, it can have a big and negative impact on overall well-being when things are not going well. A negative experience of one's sexuality can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, worry, and depression. Lack of sexual knowledge or holding rigid beliefs about sexuality can be troublesome within an adult relationship. Finally, sexual difficulties can be stressful, leading to physical problems as well--problems such as erectile dysfunction or vulvodynia (painful intercourse).
What is sexual health? Contrary to recent advertising, it is more than having working body parts! As Masters and Johnson said, "Great sex begins with your clothes on!" Sexual health has to do with viewing yourself, your sexual needs, and your sexual behavior in a positive way that brings you satisfaction, or even joy. In 1999, the World Association of Sexology created a "Declaration of Sexual Rights." Here are some ideas from that document for you to consider:
You have the right to sexual pleasure as a source of physical, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual well-being.
You have the right to emotional sexual expression through communication, touch, emotional expression and love.
You have the right to sexual information generated by credible scientists.
You have the right to comprehensive sexuality education across the lifespan.
You have the right to sexual health care for the treatment of all sexual concerns, problems, and disorders.
As you can see, sexual health is more than simply having satisfactory sexual encounters with your partner. Sexual health encompasses mutual respect and trust, consent and equality. Sexual health is not just about your relationship with someone else, however. It is about you. It is about you accepting yourself as a sexual being, with a natural drive toward pleasure.
Obtaining sexual health can be a struggle. You may have been sexually abused, or brought up in a home with very strict beliefs about controlling natural desire and behavior. You may have bad feelings about your body, or feel guilty about feeling pleasure. You may feel that your role is to please someone else, until sexual activity becomes just another chore or duty. You may have confused sexual behavior for love or intimacy. You may have physical problems that make sexual activity difficult. Or you may have underlying depression, anxiety, substance abuse, or other problems that interfere with your sexual health.
Many of these struggles can be addressed with the help of a sex therapist. A sex therapist is a licensed psychotherapist who is specially trained to help people obtain optimal sexual health. In this type of therapy, the therapist spends time getting to know you, and once medical problems are ruled out or treated, begins to explore your ideas about sexuality and intimacy.
As a rule, sex therapists educate their clients about their bodies, their physical responses, and ways to enjoy sexual experiences without embarrassment. This is a process that goes according to the client's time table, with gentle encouragement provided all along the way. Generally, the client's partner is included in most, if not all, therapy sessions, but single clients can also benefit from treatment. And often couples' therapy becomes part of treatment as various issues come to light. What should never happen is that the sex therapist makes inappropriate sexual overtures or comments, or suggests removing clothing or doing sexual touching in the office.
We are, ultimately, sexual beings because our bodies are designed for pleasure and our minds seek out sexual experiences. In the modern age, we are blessed with ways to control reproduction, and so we are able to experience sexual pleasure at will. If you are not having the kinds of sexual experiences you would like to have, please consider seeking out services from a sex therapist. Try to find someone who is a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists (AASECT); it shows a serious level of professionalism and interest in training. If this is not possible in your area, then be sure to ask a potential psychotherapist about his or her advanced training in this area before committing to treatment.
Click Here to learn more about Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D.
Link: Find a Therapist
Take a test:
See also:
|
 |
 |
|
