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Goal Directed-Therapy: Self-Esteem
By: Thelma Golub, MFT
Your sense of self-esteem is what informs yourself and others about who and what you think you are. Self-esteem is integrally related to your self-image and to your sense of self-worth.
Self-esteem relates to issues of control. The greater your sense of self-esteem, the greater is your confidence that you can take and keep control over your life. Conversely, the less self-esteem a person has, the less control that person feels over his/her life.
Often, people with low self-esteem are those who set impossible, rigid, or inflexible standards for themselves. These standards can be performance-related, and/or they can be the result of internalizing unrealistic cultural standards, such as those about appearance or weight.
Others with low-self esteem can be those people who, for whatever reason, have a tendency to avoid and deny their problems, choosing not to deal with their life issues head-on. But this is a vicious cycle, because it is only through confronting and mastering our challenges that we can develop the sense of power that engenders and enriches our self-esteem.
When individuals suffer from low self-esteem, they find it difficult to deal with anxiety. They sleep poorly, they harbor negative feelings about themselves, and they are unable to enjoy life to its fullest.
But through Goal-Directed Therapy, people who have issues around their self-esteem can learn to view themselves more realistically. They can learn how to recognize, appreciate, and value their assets and strengths, and thereby affirm and strengthen their self-perceived value as worthwhile human beings.
Sample Self-Esteem Evaluation Questionnaire:
Here's a sample self-esteem evaluation questionnaire. When you're finished responding to the statements, add up your score. The higher it is, the greater your sense of self-esteem. On the other hand, the closer your total is to 0, the more likely it is that you may need some positive reinforcement when it comes to how you view yourself.
Put -0- on the line if the statement is ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
Put -1- on the line if the statement is LARGELY TRUE.
Put -2- on the line if the statement is SOMEWHAT TRUE.
Put -3- on the line if the statement is FALSE.
__ 1.1 often feel inadequate to handle new situations.
__ 2.1 am concerned about what others think and say about me.
__ 3.1 have an intense need for recognition and approval.
__ 4. Losing causes me to feel resentful and "less than."
__ 5.1 am prone to condemn others; I often wish them punished.
__ 6.1 am inclined to exaggerate or lie to maintain my "image."
__ 7.1 tend to belittle my own talents and achievements.
__ 8.1 habitually deny or rationalize my mistakes or defeats.
__ 9.1 am often critical and belittling of others.
__10.1 feel vulnerable to others' opinions and comments.
__11.1 am a "professional people-pleaser."
__12.1 am fearful of exposing myself.
__13.1 am a "compulsive perfectionist."
__14.1 often feel compulsive about eating, smoking, talking, etc.
__15.1 am often embarrassed by the actions of my friends/family.
__16.1 have an intense need for confirmation and agreement.
__17.1 judge my self-worth by comparing myself to others.
__18.1 frequently boast about my possessions and achievements.
__19.1 have a strong need to defend my acts, opinions, beliefs.
__20.1 often blame others for my handicaps, problems, mistakes.
______ TOTAL SCORE
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