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Men and Depression--It Takes Courage to Ask For Help
Frequently, male depression first shows up in physical symptoms, such as headaches, gastrointestinal distress, and sexual dysfunction. When you're suffering from depression, you and others close to you may notice some of the following changes in your overall affect:
You're performing less well at work;
You're unusually quiet and seem unable to share what's bothering you;
You’re worrying--even obsessing--about things more than usual;
You’re more irritable than usual and may lash out at those who try to offer help.
Researchers estimate that more than six million men in the United States have a depressive disorder--about one-third of all adults living with depression in any given year. However, men are typically less likely than women to recognize, acknowledge, and seek treatment for their depression. In addition, their loved ones and even their physicians may not always detect depressive symptoms in men.
Depression is a serious medical condition that can affect both men and women. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.
Research and clinical findings reveal that while both men and women can develop the standard symptoms of depression, they often experience depression differently and may have different ways of coping with the symptoms. Men may be more willing to acknowledge fatigue, irritability, loss of interest in work or hobbies, and sleep disturbances rather than feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and excessive guilt, which are commonly associated with depression in women. Men may turn to alcohol or street drugs when they are depressed instead of seeking appropriate medical treatment.
Men with depression may become frustrated, discouraged, angry, irritable and, sometimes, violently abusive. Some men may deal with depression by throwing themselves compulsively into their work; others may respond to depression by engaging in reckless behavior, taking risks, and putting themselves in harm's way. Depression is a risk factor for suicide, and there is an alarming rate of completed suicide among men in the U.S. - particularly older white men and younger black men.
Symptoms of Depression may include:
• Persistent sad, anxious, pessimistic or "empty" mood
• Diminished sex drive
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed
• Decreased energy, feeling "slowed down," fatigued, or "heaviness"
• Lapses in usual hygiene and fitness routines
• Trouble sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
• Appetite and/or weight changes
• Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts**
• Restlessness, irritability
• Persistent physical symptoms, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain, which do not respond to routine treatment
Four Steps to First Understand and Then Get Help For Depression:
1. Look for signs of depression
2. Understand that depression is a real illness
3. See your doctor--get a check-up and talk about how you’re feeling
4. Get treatment for your depression—you can feel better
Step One: Look For Signs of Depression
If any of the following symptoms apply to you, please seek professional advice from your doctor. You could be suffering from depression. Take this list to your doctor and discuss the symptoms you identified with.
1. I am really sad most of the time.
2. I don’t enjoy doing the things I’ve always enjoyed doing.
3. I don’t sleep well at night and am always restless.
4. I am always tired. I find it hard to get out of bed.
5. I don’t feel like eating much.
6. I feel like eating all the time.
7. I have lots of aches and pains that don’t go away and have no real medical cause.
8. I have little to no sexual energy.
9. I find it hard to focus and am very forgetful.
10. I am mad at everybody and everything.
11. I feel upset and fearful--but don’t know why.
12. I don’t feel like talking to people.
13. I feel like there isn’t much point to living—nothing good is going to happen for me.
14. I don’t like myself very much. I feel bad most of the time.
15. I think about death a lot. I even think about killing myself.**
Step Two: Understand that Depression is a Real Illness
Depression is a serious medical illness that involves the brain. But, there is hope. Depression can be treated and you can feel better. Depression is not something that you have "made up in your head." It’s more than just feeling "down in the dumps" or "blue" for a few days. It’s feeling "down" and "low" and "hopeless" for weeks at a time. About 19 million Americans have depression. It can happen to anyone, no matter what age you are or where you come from.
Depression can make it very hard for you to care for yourself, your family, or even hold down a job. But, there is hope. Depression can be treated and you can feel better.
Step Three: See Your Doctor
Don’t wait. Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. Get a medical checkup to rule out any other illnesses that might be causing signs of depression. Ask if you need to see someone who can evaluate and treat depression.
If you don’t have a doctor, check your local phone book. Go to the government services pages (they may be blue in color) and look for "health clinics" or "community health centers." Call one near you and ask for help.
Step Four: Get Treatment For Your Depression. You Can Feel Better
There are two common types of treatment for depression: (1) medication and (2) "talk" therapy. Ask your doctor which type is best for you. Some people need both treatments to feel better.
Medications for depression are called "antidepressants." Your regular doctor or a psychiatrist (a medical doctor trained in helping people with depression) can prescribe them for you.
Antidepressants may take a few weeks to work. Be sure to tell the doctor how you are feeling. If you are not feeling better, you may need to try different medicines to find out what works best for you.
Medicines sometimes cause unwanted "side effects." You may feel tired, have blurred vision, or feel sick to your stomach. Tell the doctor if you have these or any other side effects.
"Talk" therapy involves talking to someone such as a psychologist, psychotherapist or counselor. It helps you learn to change how depression makes you think, feel, and act. Look to 4therapy.com’s Therapist Locator for someof the nation’s finest therapists near you. You can feel better.
How to Help Someone You Care About Who May Have Depression:
If you have a friend or loved one who seems depressed and may need help, here are some things you can do:
· Tell your friend or loved one that you are concerned about him.
· Talk to him about seeing a doctor or therapist.
· Offer to call a doctor or a therapist and help your friend or loved one make an appointment.
· Take him to the appointment.
· "Be there" for him after he starts treatment.
**Sometimes depression can cause people to feel like killing themselves. If you are thinking about killing yourself or know someone who is talking about it, get help:
Call 911.
Go to the emergency room of the nearest hospital.
Call and talk to your doctor now.
Ask a friend or family member to take you to the hospital or call your doctor ASAP.
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