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When Kids Bully Other Kids At School
By: Lisa Dunning, MFT
For many children school is a great place to learn, socialize and build self-esteem. But for a child who is the victim of a bully, school can become a place of terror. If you notice your child exhibiting any of the following 5 behaviors, there is a good chance he or she is being bullied.
1. Sunday Night "Flu": Many children who are bullied do not want to go to school. You might notice your child behaving normally on the weekend, but as soon as Sunday night approaches they will suddenly complain about feeling too sick to go to school.
2. Increase or Decrease In Appetite: Pay attention to your child's eating habits. When a child is having emotional problems their appetite can decrease or increase dramatically.
3. Loss of Interest In Activities They Once Enjoyed: Children who are bullied will attempt to isolate themselves from the outside world. You might notice your child not going over to friends' houses or participating in activities they once enjoyed.
4. Seemingly Inexplicable Drop In Grades: Being a victim of a bully takes a toll on a child emotionally and physically. Because of this, a child might not have the mental strength to focus on their studies and care about their grades.
5. Abrupt and Unexpected Releases of Anger: Your child might experience anger or violent outbursts at home. When your child is emotionally attacked all day at school, they build up anger and resentment. This release of anger often happens at home where they feel safe to express it.
If you suspect that your child is being bullied, talk to them about school. See if they become agitated or if they try to change the subject. Let them know that you are there to help them. If your child confides in you about bullying at school, actively listen to them and let them explore ways they would like to handle the situation.
Empower your child to talk to their teacher or the school principal about the bullying. If your child talks to the teacher and principal but the bullying does not stop, it's time for you to take action. Schedule an immediate meeting with the principal and your child's teacher and demand to know what action will be taken to stop the bullying of your child.
Do not treat bullying as a natural part of growing up or believe that it will all work itself out eventually. Bullying is a serious situation and the helplessness it engenders even causes some children to resort to such extreme measures as suicide. Stay actively involved with your child's school and constantly talk to your child. If you notice signs of depression, seek out the services of a counselor or therapist.
With your love and support, your child can regain the positive school experience they need and deserve.
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